“WELCOME, YOU REPTILE”

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Even by the medieval standards of 1980s Brooklyn, the apartment building at 320 Sterling Street managed to distinguish itself as a brick and mortar atrocity. The blighted 113-unit behemoth between Nostrand and New York Avenues would have scandalized the Bucharest housing authority. Paint peeled from walls as if the entire structure had been dunked in napalm. Gangs of free range rodents annexed corridors and mounds of low-rent detritus provided an unyielding stink. Dripping in Gucci and Fila, crack merchants indulged in dark commerce with relative impunity. Heat was considered a luxury back then and Nor’easters were known to turn bone marrow slushy. Like so many other diseased buildings at the time, 320 Sterling Street was lorded over by an almost comically

TALK OF THE TOWN

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Flatbushed.com noted the mass incursion of journalists into the area a few posts ago and the trend continues unabated. A staff writer at the New Yorker magazine – along with his public defender spouse – successfully pitched $1.8 million to corral a comely white limestone on Maple Street at Rogers Avenue. As is policy at Flatbushed.com, we refrain from naming buyers unless they qualify as public figures. This has become an increasingly elastic notion in today’s climate but we stick to our instincts on this front. If the aforementioned gentleman ever shares couch space with Oprah while pushing his coming of age memoir then we’ll

BAR CRAWL

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Yet another sousing station is set to fling open its doors in the increasingly tavern-laden land of Lefferts. A Flatbushed.com operative heard the whizz of chainsaws inside a  rather unassuming storefront at 703 Flatbush between Parkside and Winthrop last week and dipped her head inside. With Sinaloan standards blaring in the background, a group of men were in the process of fashioning what appeared to be a good old fashioned saloon. Here is the pictorial evidence…   It’s important to note that this is the first bar slated for what is generally considered the more obstreperous portion of PLG’s stretch of Flatbush.

GRAND THEFT AUTO XV: CLARKSON

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A Great Neck based developer (most PLG related property posts begin with that phrase) has purchased a pair of Clarkson Avenue single-family homes at Nostrand Ave. and plans to level them to make way for  a luxury 30-unit rental building, records show. You can absorb the Grand Theft Auto style rendering – slated to become a 2017 reality – in the title picture. Joseph Roubeni, principal at Astral Weeks development, purchased the two haggard properties at 191 and 195 Clarkson for a combined $2,425,000 last month and will soon erect a new structure that will feature a gym, balconies, and a roof deck.

DATELINE: FLATBUSH

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Pablum dictates that broke artists are always the fat part of the gentrification bat. But there’s another notoriously insolvent sector of the professional workforce that can be relied on to forage at the fringes for manageable rent – journalists. Prospect Lefferts Garden is no exception. With notebooks in hand and insufficient funds receipts in their wallet, Fourth Estate janissaries have rumbled across the Prospect Park plains en masse and planted their pens in the dirt. It’s safe to assume that one out of every three people bibbing next to you at one of the local boîtes works in some form of media. Here is a partial list of news

AISLE STYLE

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Supermarket taxonomy is an inexact science. We’ve all stood at the mouth of a seemingly infinite grocery store aisle, transfixed by the six or so organizational terms floating above us on a hanging sign. We stand there flummoxed, lost in slovenly calculation. What is a lentil? A bean? Is it lumped with the canned goods? An organic specialty? Hell, does it qualify for the “ethnic” section? After draining consideration, we either deem the aisle invalid and refresh the process elsewhere or step down a corridor of uncertainty with gnawing self-doubt. Management at the Associated on Flatbush between Hawthorne Street and Fenimore has clearly run into similar complications

SHELL GAMES

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The absentee owner of PLG’s most notorious eyesore at 1914 Bedford Avenue finally sold the property to a Queens developer last month for just $250,000, according to records. The bombed out husk at the corner of Fenimore Street has been a graffiti-covered, weed encircled shell for more than a decade and will either be refurbished or razed for redevelopment. If the Yellow King from True Detective ever decided to embrace his inner hipster, this is where he would live. Flatbushed.com took a few interior shots of the building where trash, triffids, liquor bottles and cackling ghosts conspire to unnerve. The home was one of several stately three-story structures that were

BIRDMAN

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You half expect Lamont Sanford’s red truck to pull up any minute to Ada’s Washer and Repair Shop on Rogers Avenue. The paint on the store’s sign has curled into near incoherence. Abandoned appliances and rusting sundries that may or may not be for sale stand sentry around the perimeter like dozing security guards. With its stacks of sick monitors, VCRs, CD players and televisions, Ada’s is an elegy to planned obsolescence. Tools are still put to use well past their reasonable retirement age like elderly McDonald’s workers.  It is a hospice for the electronic. The vintage disarray is  presided over by a Druid like man

PRAISE HIM

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As he’s done for the past half century, Rogers Avenue fixture Charles Clark spent his Sunday afternoon praising his lord and savior Jesus Christ. He’s convinced that those exertions paid dividends a few hours later. As he peacefully reclined in his living room amid Obama calendars and velvet wall maps of the Caribbean, a car jumped the curb outside his home, barreled through an iron fence and punctured the brick wall that separates his bedroom from the sidewalk. “I usually take a nap in there after church,” the shaken retiree told Flatbushed.com a few hours after the incident. “I just thank God I wasn’t in